jerryspringers:

when u say a really clever comeback without stuttering

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jaclcfrost:

if you ever think my shorts are “too short” i want you to consider the following

  • they are called “shorts”
  • i look great

subwaywhore:

Poking holes in dad’s condoms so someone else can do the dishes


poptwart:

virginsacrificer:

is that john green

its a metaphor

poptwart:

virginsacrificer:

is that john green

its a metaphor


dickpicjpg:

tupacabra:

*wakes up with one sock on* whoa what a crazy night

who the fUCK wears socks to bed??


greatfatsby:

Me: What is it doctor?

Doctor:

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toastdurr:

vagisodium:

i bet my tongue is stronger than yours wanna find out

hELL YES

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spn-fandom-breathing-heavily:

archivesofgallifrey:

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

willgrahamps:

wait if eve ate the apple then why the fuck is it called an adam’s apple

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because she ate the apple, and then convinced adam to eat the apple as well so that she wouldn’t be alone, but the piece he bit off got stuck in his throat.

It got stuck because at the exact moment he was swallowing, God jumped out from behind a bush like 

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!”


What happens when teens are home alone
According to social media: wild and crazy party time!
Me: fuck yeah I can take my headphones off!


vaporeowned:

boy: Its like we finish each others sentences

girl: .


dorfs:

Woops my 10 minute study break turned into a whole year


meladoodle:

Bye

1,591 plays!

musicforpylons:

Track: Cover of Ke$ha’s ‘Sleazy’

Artist: Ben Folds


human:

when you aren’t quick enough to screenshot an embarrassing snapchat of your friend 

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